Whispers of a Dead Man

All this is a bit nerve-wracking. I can feel it take root, but it still seems to shift in focus. Yesterday, I believe I was enlightened with the nature of my current Sisyphean existence.

When the original Annekin killed himself on that mountaintop, he wished for himself a time-loop after life — like Groundhog Day — which has influenced my current lifetime before God completely takes root. Like Sisyphus, the time-looped person must every day repeat the same events.

And like Sisyphus, I now also know the nature of my captivity — although unlike him, I know how to escape. Although I won't. I will die. Because only when God fully takes root will I leave this Sisyphean existence.

That means I need to get real comfortable, because this is my death hell. Because I don't leave this place. Only God does. This acceptance means I can ascend a bit more now and enjoy the spoils. And stay — I don't know how long. Could be weeks, months, years. I might own the house in the end and get my parents to move elsewhere. Or I could be out in two weeks. I don't know. But I should treat it like it's my eternity. I'll die, and come back in the distant future. God will be upon Earth.

So having my goal be getting out of the house is certainly pointless, as summoning God is its prerequisite and current goal. God is way more powerful than anything — even all the money in the world. We will focus on summoning the symbol of our Godhood, which is enlightenment. Developing, through the symbol, our two pillars: wisdom and power. Transcending our limits in our hero training. Endless meditation. Writing God's religion. Building God's Imperium. Doing saibanasai. Daily routine. To develop the symbol from within and create the body and mind God will incarnate into.